Drawing Conclusions: Groups Stage 2/3 Complete

Raul Meireles & Tiago celebrate Portugal's first goal (photo by Lars Baron/Getty Images)

All the second group games have been played; thus, it is time for another installment of “Drawing Conclusions,” this time with addition of the Bigsoccerhead Offside Award ™, which will reward the biggest refereeing blunder of the week (we all know who the this week’s recipient will be).

Best Team: Portugal

In my analysis of Portugal’s world cup chances, I wrote that Portugal’s performances oscillate between brilliant and down-right pathetic. The Portuguese game against the Ivory Coast could well be categorized as pathetic, given the team’s lack of offense. However, the game against North Korea was a stark reminder that when the team clicks, it is capable of beating anyone. Of course, we mustn’t forget that Portugal netted seven goals against world cup minnows North Korea, and not a more reputable team. But then again how many surprising results have the supposed “small fish” of the tournament pulled off so far?

Worst Team: England

Italy could be called the worst team of the week, but at least they showed some semblances of worthy attacks against New Zealand. To be fair, the Azzuri should have won the game. England, on the other hand, has shown no sign of being an effective team anywhere on the field. Against Algeria, the Three Lions were out of ideas, at a certain point relying on aimless crosses that never reached their intended targets. A similar performance against the Slovenians will almost certainly oust the team from the cup. Can you imagine the fallout?

Most Surprising Team: New Zealand

Sure the Italians got unlucky, but the Kiwis deserve a lot of credit for their defensive organization. The only legitimate Italian threats came from shots that were taken from outside the box. And even if the Islanders spent most of the time defending, they did manage some notable offensive forays.

Most Disappointing Team: Slovakia

I didn’t anticipate a very strong run from the Slovakian’s; nevertheless, the Slovakians never looked like they could get anything out of their game against Paraguay. From the very beginning, Slovakia was pegged back by the South Americans. Where did Napoli’s Hamsik go?

Most Surprising Result: France 0 Mexico 2

The fact that Mexico won isn’t what’s surprising. It’s the fact that the French never looked like they could score. Did the French even play with a forward? Oh Yes, Anelka was subbed at the half, and got on the first plane heading to the land of fraternity. Oh wait…

Most Impressive Player: Tiago

When it was reported that Deco would be unable to play against North Korea, the Portuguese took a collective deep breath, and braced for the worst. The Brazilian-born playmaker has been the team’s offensive catalyst since Rui Costa’s retirement, and there have been doubts whether there’s an adequate replacement in the squad. Tiago has all but crushed those doubts. The Atletico Madrid playmaker took Deco’s place and put on a clinic against the North Koreans. Starting with a wonderful assist to Raul Meireles’ goal, Tiago went on to score two of Portugal’s seven goals. Now it would be hard to foresee Tiago spending any more time on the bench.

Most Disappointing Player: Wayne Rooney

So far England’s hope hasn’t rewritten the future (that’s a reference to the Nike commercial for all you half time mutters). Perhaps he’s a victim of his team’s ineptitude, but the striker has yet to find the back of the net, and he doesn’t even look close. Towards the end of the game against Algeria, Rooney was busier sulking than anything else. And once the whitle, his infamous temper took hold, as he berated the English fans for booing.

Bigsoccerhead Knucklehead Moment ™: Kakà’s Second Yellow

Not one pundit believes that Kakà should have been sent off for his elbowing of Keita. I’ll be the contrarian. While Keita made a meal of the situation, the elbowing was intentional. He didn’t hit him in the face, but he hit him nonetheless. I can’t blame the Brazilian for wanting to hurt the Ivorian, as the latter was determined to injure one of the Brazilians, yet Kakà should have been less rash, especially for such a devoutly pious man.

Bigsoccerhead Offside Award ™: Koman Coulibaly’s Call Against the USA

Perhaps Coulibaly shouldn’t get as much of the blame as Mr. Blatter, FIFA’s president. After all, it is the latter who refuses to use instant replay to validate, or invalidate goals. And it is Blatter who will roast the African for his blunder. Mr. Coulibaly’s biggest mistake, apart from making the terrible call, was to deny having made a bad call at all. Still, this is on the FIFA president, who believes that video replay will take away from the passion that makes the game so great. Mr. Blatter better hope a similar mistake doesn’t occur with a bigger team than the USA – or in the final, for that matter – because if it does, passion may result in the torching and pillaging of a South African town.